How to communicate with a loved one who has alzheimers
At Le Domaine Care, Alzheimer’s disease is not new to us. We understand the struggle from both the patient and the caregiver's point of view. Because Alzheimer’s disease is a gradual degenerative process, and it affects a person’s ability to communicate normally.
Worldwide, over 50 million people are living with Alzheimer’s disease. It is a degenerative brain disease that typically affects those who are over 60 years of age. In its early stages, memory loss is the most common symptom but over time other cognitive abilities begin to deteriorate, interfering with the patient’s daily tasks and quality of life.
Imagine not being able to finish your own sentence. Imagine forgetting to feed your beloved pet, pay a bill, or forgetting the name of your neighbour. For Alzheimer patients, this is a daily reality. Just like the rest of our bodies, our brains change and age over time. While it’s quite common for an elderly person to forget the odd date or name; serious memory loss, confusion and other major changes in the way the mind works, are clear signs that the brain cells are failing.
“The overriding purpose of Le Domaine Care is to ensure that “every story is remembered”, to create a place where people are not isolated by their condition but come to a place of belonging where they are cherished and respected in spite of their inability to control themselves.”
Disorientation, behavioural and mood changes, confusion, paranoia, difficulty speaking and communicating… these are some of the symptoms that an Alzheimer patient will experience. And this is why living with or communicating with a loved one who is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease is such a delicate yet important role.
For an Alzheimer patient, much of their life changes; as their ability to communicate with people diminishes, they lose control of their mind and feel isolated. It can be a frustrating time for them – but also for their loved ones, as they no longer make sense, communicate reasonably, or simply don’t act like their usual selves.
The overriding purpose of Le Domaine Care is to ensure that “every story is remembered”, to create a place where people are not isolated by their condition but come to a place of belonging where they are cherished and respected in spite of their inability to control themselves. When it comes to dealing with Altzeimer’s we are passionate about reminding both the residents and their families how to keep connection and empathy in spite of the struggles they face.
TALK ABOUT PATIENCE
A person living with Alzheimer’s disease may have difficulty concentrating and take much longer to do things than they did before. They may stop in the middle of a conversation and have no idea how to continue. They may repeat themselves, struggle with vocabulary or forget the name of a normally familiar object. They can battle to hold a conversation and as a result, may distance themselves socially and avoid socialising or interacting with others. They may become reclusive, quiet and uncommunicative.
Remember that what they are experiencing is very real to them; so, try to listen attentively and not take anything personally. There will be good days, and there will be bad days! You may also become frustrated with a lack of progress or disheartened by unresponsive communication. They may get annoyed with themselves, or feel harassed with too many questions.
Patience is a tool that will help you navigate these feelings, for both of you. Help them to try and express their new feelings in their own way. Talk slowly when trying to communicate and allow them to take their time in responding to your questions. Cognitively, it may take longer for them to piece together the information that they need to be able to answer you. Putting pressure on them to answer immediately may cause stress and anxiety.
KINDNESS SHOWS LOVE
While they might not show it or tell you often, your love and support mean a lot to your loved one. Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease can be overwhelming and even frustrating at times. You’re not always going to know what to say or how to deal with every new situation, and that’s ok. This will all be new for you too. The best you can do is react with kindness! Use kind words, avoid arguments, refrain from constantly correcting them and make eye contact. Small measures that will comfort your loved one in uncertain times.
REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS
People with Alzheimer’s disease struggle with newly learned information or short-term memory. This means that they’re likely to remember things from back in their past. Going through photo albums will help to recall happy memories. Try to engage them in conversation about their history, events, family tree... and let them talk you through their memories. Not only will it bring up positive sentiments, but it will also give them the confidence to know that they can remember their past!
DON’T DO IT ALONE
Seeing a loved one struggle through a host of new emotions can be very upsetting. Not to mention frustrating. As they deal with feelings of frustration, anger, paranoia and anxiety, so too will you deal with frustration, confusion and feelings of defeat; not to mention loss. You do not have to deal with this alone. Lean on other family members for support, speak to your loved one's doctor for medical advice, attend a local support group or speak to an expert about significant behavioural changes and how to better deal with and understand them.
Please get in touch with our team if you are looking for guidance to help you or a loved one through this time. We are here to walk with you on this very difficult journey.